We are indeed a society who are seekers of validation.  When we are feeling down and out, depressed, unloved, we are only a click or two away from that comforting feeling that validation brings us. Social media makes it all too easy for us to get a quick pick me up when we feel down.  But how long does that last?

Validation is rightly functional in many cases, and we owe it too many people to validate them for their efforts and services along with many other things.  But when we seek validation to numb the pain we feel, this is when it becomes dangerous.  By beginning the act of numbing, we delay finding the source of that pain or hurt.

Delaying this process only strengthens the need to feel validated for all the wrong reasons.  And when we continue the cycle in search of validation, the source of our hurt becomes even harder to find. 

You see, in our search for validation, we begin to empty our tank for our emotional well-being.   

Being that we are humans, we can only handle so much before we become emotionally compromised.  The continued pursuit of constant searching for acceptance from the world drains each one of us. 

If we continually look at the world for validation, we will begin to learn the art of compromising. We will compromise our physical, emotional, and spiritual feelings.  We do this so that we might feel accepted. So what do we do if we have completely emptied our tank in one of these three areas? 

Let’s first examine a quote by the man himself, Jesus Christ, in response to a Samaritan woman searching for living water. 

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14

The first part of the verse spells out the cycle of seeking worldly validation.  You will always come back for more.  It will never stop.

But you may ask, “So yeah, if I drink of the water offered by Jesus, will I never feel the need to be validated or have my feelings or emotions validated?” Well, no, not exactly. Yes, this isn’t the answer you are looking for, but wait, it gets worse. Let’s look at John 15:19:

“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you”

So thus far, we have established that if we search for validation through Jesus, we will still feel the need for worldly validation, and at the same time, our desired source for validation will hate us. What have we really gained in turning to Jesus? Everything!

“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.” Luke 6:22-23

In our search for validation, we look for something constant and ideally want a source of validation that is perfect.  I mean, who doesn’t want to feel loved and desired 24/7/365.  We all love an encouraging Facebook comment or a stranger complimenting our appearance.

The only constant source that will ever truly fulfill our long desire to be validated is through Jesus.

“In this, the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1st John 4:9-10

You see, God loved you before you ever set foot on this planet. Through His Son’s sacrifice on the cross, we have received the ultimate validation: His love.

Seeking validation through Christ and searching through his Words continually show us how much he approves of us.  But, this does not discount us from the pain of this world.  We will still have our desires to seek validation through the world’s eyes.  This does not mean you are a bad person. We are human and inherently seek out worldly desires. But no matter what, we will also feel empty once we have chased after the world. 

We will not be perfect in our pursuit, but we do have an example of someone who was, and he will always be there to validate us with his merciful love.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15


Love has a wide range of definitions for just being 4 letter word. Love is one of the greatest motivators present in this world. It can make us do rather stupid things, but at the same time actions brought out from deep love can sometimes not be explained. This word is thrown around with some meanings being profoundly rooted, and others just being surface level. Undoubtedly, there is no better feeling in this world than the feeling of being loved. 

Notice that feeling isn’t derived from someone saying the phrase “ I love you” but comes from the actions associated with it.  

“Well done is better than well said.”- Benjamin Franklin

Anyone can say that they love something or someone. This quote by ole Benjamin himself speaks volumes to me and has made me very aware of the different types of people in this world. I see many examples of what I call “temporary love” or “circumstantial love” in this world. This temporary or circumstantial love equates to empty love. What is love without actions behind this four-letter word?   

 I love James 2, where James talks about works and faith. In my own mind, I see an example of how love works and have changed the word “faith” in this passage to “love.”  

What does it profit if someone says he has love but does not have works? 

If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food,  and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also love by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

Show me your love without your works, and I will show you my love by my works

September 29, 2006.

John 15:13 – “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  

This is a date that has become well known to me. This date is inscribed on the headstone of Petty Officer Second Class (SEAL) Michael A. Monsoor. 

When Michael Monsoor began his operations on that September day, he had no idea that it would be the last time he would put his boots on, check his gear, and head out to face an unknown enemy. I am sure when he woke up that morning that he did not go through the process of evaluating what his actions would be if an enemy insurgent threw a grenade onto a rooftop where he was located. The obvious course of action would be to find the nearest exit and head that way as this is not something that he needed to remind himself of every day. It would go against every possible humanly urge to not exit the blast area.

When Michael felt the grenade hit his chest and saw it fall to the ground, he began a very rapid thought process. He first yelled “grenade” to alert his two fellow SEALS who were still actively engaging the enemy. Michael instinctively knew how long he had until the explosion and knew the exact radius of the blast. He had been taught evasive maneuvers in tight quarters, and his body was ready to react to this new deadly threat that was in front of him. He saw his exit and instantly knew the course of action that was needed to keep his body from receiving harm, yet he ignored this course of action. 

He knew the grenade was about to go off. He knew the blast radius. He knew what actions he needed to make to save his life. But, he also knew that doing so would mean the deaths of his two brothers on the roof with him. Michael knew that his two fellow SEALS did not have adequate time to access this threat and take evasive action. He knew what course of action he needed to take. At this moment, Petty Officer Second Class (SEAL) Michael A. Monsoor lived out John 15:13.   

One action speaks louder than thousands of words. 

Love is an action. Jesus gave us the ultimate gift of love when he died on the cross. But maybe we have become numb as to what this symbol of love truly means in today’s world. Michael A. Monsoor’s legacy lives on today because of his choice to love. It is impossible to comprehend the pain that Michael went through once the grenade impacted his body. There was no doubt in his mind what would happen when he jumped onto that grenade. There was no doubt in Jesus’ mind as to the pain He would experience in the events leading up to his death, yet, because of love, he underwent that path to the cross. 

If you are suffering or hurting and feel as if there is no cure or end in sight to your circumstances, know answers can be found and healing can start through the one who’s love is perfect: Jesus.

Romans 12:9-10 “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”